Life is so precious

Yesterday was a really sucky day... I woke up to news that a forum friend had lost her long awaited baby girl at 26 weeks. And whilst still reeling from that news I got word that one of our cancer friends became an angel yesterday. Thank you lord for letting princess Caroline find peace in her mothers arms. It was just way too soon. 4 years old... The drama didn't stop there...
Ds has been a bit off the past week... not really eating that well and generally being a bit "clingy". On Friday he had a slight temp... 38C but yesterday evening it reached 38.9 and he was lying on the couch and getting his little sister to get things for him... he wasn't feeling well and when asked he said he had pain in his back/sides and in his bladder region... Thinking uti we took him to the doctor... with a very nicely caught specimen of his wee.. True enough according to the oncall doc she could find blood, nitrates and white cells in it... so we got referred to the local childrens hospital. When we got there .. they took the same wee and tested it and said it was clean... hmmm. On our request they took a blood sample.. but they didn't think he was sick enough to warrent staying so we got sent home with the info that they would call us with the blood result.
We got home put the kids to bed and 10mins later a sheepish doc rang to say that ds's Crp (infection numbers) were 156 which indicates a bacterial infection and that his white cell count was 18 (high. Enter panic mode... as a mother to a child with Leukemia... I know what these numbers could mean.. Anyways... they wanted him back asap... so dh ended up driving back with him... I got to stay home with dd... and how horrible is that feeling.. to be sitting at home waiting... waiting for the phone to ring... and it doesn't....
Ds is still there with his daddy... i have spoken to him this morning and he says he is fine.. but we've learnt that he says things so that he can come home... He doesn't want to be there either... he wants to be at home with mommy and his lil sister getting ready for his birthday tomorrow..

I want him here too... but i also want him well and that is most important..